The Watcher's Counsel
by Jeanny
Summary: Before she makes a decision about her future, Anya surprises Giles. (Takes place immediately following Hell's Bells)


Title: The Watcher's Counsel

Author: Jeanny

Feedback: Please. jeannygrrl@hotmail.com

Distribution: I don't mind, just credit me and let me know where it's going.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Season 6 Through Hell's Bells

Disclaimer: I own no one and nothing, especially the characters in this story. I'm merely borrowing them for the pure pleasure of messing with their lives.

Summary: Before she makes a decision about her future, Anya surprises Giles.

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Giles placed his book carefully on the desk, making certain not to crease the spine unnecessarily, and went to the kitchen. He had been so engrossed in reading that his tea had yet again gone cold, and even he found it difficult to stomach at such a temperature. He found himself humming a bit as he put the kettle back on, and his lips turned up slightly. Returning to London had been both the most difficult and easiest thing he had ever done. And the last time he had spoken to Buffy she had sounded more like herself; confident, even happy. He smiled even more at that memory, and turned away from the kettle. He immediately found himself unexpectedly caught in the embrace of a sodden weeping platinum-blonde mermaid.

At least that was his first impression. The girl, for he realized almost straightaway she was not a mermaid, called his name repeatedly and brokenly between sobs, her face buried in his shoulder, her blonde curls bobbing wildly. The situation was still so unreal he was certain he had somehow fallen into a dream. One that was assaulting all of his senses, including a whiff of familiar perfume. That scent...that voice...even muffled by his shirt, he immediately had no doubt that it was she. 

"Anya?"

"G-G-Giles!" Anya wailed, clutching him even tighter. "I...I...I...don't know what happened."

"There, there," Giles mumbled, patting her lightly on the back in bewilderment. "It's all right."

He repeatedly murmured similar comforts, all the while managing to maneuver her out of his flat's tiny kitchen and into the living room, eventually on to the sofa. Miraculously, in spite of his rather absently rendered calming techniques, Anya's sobs did subside in a manner of minutes. He handed her a tissue and she blew her nose, looking up at him through red-rimmed eyes.

"Thank you," Anya sniffed.

"Anya, not that I'm not, er, pleased, to see you, but just how did you manage to, um, pop into my kitchen?"

"I asked to be dropped off here. I had to see you. You're the only one that can help. Giles, I...something terrible has happened, the worst thing possible really-" Giles swallowed hard, feeling his stomach drop. He suddenly felt ice cold. The worse thing possible...hadn't they already lived through the worse thing possible? Giles feared the death of another of these children he thought of as his own.

"Dear God, did someone..." Giles began, then faltered. For Anya to be as upset as she was, it could only have been one person that had died. He continued in a gentle tone, "Xander hasn't...that is to say he didn't...?" Anya nodded, blinking back fresh tears.

"Left me. At the altar."

Giles blinked at that, nonplussed. 

*Of course, the costume. A wedding dress. Rather unusual, but quite fetching, like the girl...* Giles cut off that train of thought and cleared his throat.

"Oh. Oh dear. I must say, I didn't see that coming," he dithered.

"Yeah, well, you're not the only one," Anya said bitterly. Giles looked guilty. Surely he could do a better job of being sympathetic than that.

"Terribly sorry, Anya. What, if I may ask, happened?"

"That's just it. I don't really know." Anya stood up and began pacing, taking tiny steps due to the fishtail hem on the gown. "Everything was perfect. I mean, Xander`s family was a nightmare, as always - you would of thought they were the ones from the Lower Realms, not my friends - but Xander told me that it didn't matter. Then, th-this man showed up and showed Xander these visions of our future together, horrible visions, and somehow convinced him they were real...only he wasn't a man, well, not anymore, he was someone I cursed and sent to a demon dimension ninety years ago...anyway, Xander ran away."

"I see. Then perhaps he just needs-"

"He came back, Giles. He helped Buffy kill the demon, saving my life...and then he...he said he knew that those visions weren't real, but he still...he said he couldn't marry me, that he would only hurt me. Like I could hurt more than I do right now. Like that's possible."

Her mournful tone made Giles' heart ache for her, and without thinking he stood and gathered her in his arms once again. This time she didn't cry, but clung to him the way a child might clutch at a parent for protection. Parental was how he had always felt about her, until that terrible mix-up right before he had left Sunnydale. Now he was forced to admit that what he was feeling was much more complex, and only slightly fatherly. Lost in his own thoughts, he had no idea how long they had stood that way when he was brought back to the present by the feeling of her shifting slightly in his arms.

"I...I don't know what to say," Giles said finally. A puzzled thought occurred to him. "I...not that I mind, at all, Anya, but you did say you were dropped off here...?"

"By D'Hoffryn," she admitted, pulling away and not quite looking at him. "He's offered me my powers back. Vengeance demon. I have to take vengeance on Xander to do it, but I don't have much of a problem with that right now..." She moved further away, absently touching items and knick-knacks he had collected over the years as she avoided his gaze.

"But you do have a problem? With accepting that offer?" Her back was to him, and for a moment he thought she wasn't going to answer the question. Then she met his gaze, and he had a sudden fear that she would, and that the answer would propel them both to a place they were just not ready to go. 

"Of course. The shop."Her reply was simultaneously relieving and displeasing to him.

"I see." The disappointment in his tone surprised both of them. Anya hugged herself and sighed heavily.

"Okay, not only the shop," she grudgingly admitted. "I just...there are some things about being human, I had forgotten. I like them. Of course, almost all of them are tied to my...to Xander...but some of them are tied to you."

"Me?" Giles squeaked, then cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Anya, I don't understand what you-"

"I'm talking about what happened during that screwy spell of Willow's. When you and I thought we were...well, engaged. I haven`t been able to...I haven`t forgotten. Oh God, have you forgotten?" 

"No, no, I remember...that is to say I'm not certain what you...what are you trying to say, Anya?"

"Just that...the way you treated me, Giles. In spite of the horrible way I was behaving...and you not knowing..." she trailed off, embarrassed.

"That we weren't actually..." Giles began, then cleared his throat as he tried to think of the right word. "Committed," he said finally, polishing his glasses.

"Precisely. But for that time, that we were...I felt so safe, you know? In a way that I never did with Xander, in spite of how much I loved him."

Giles' heart did a sudden skip. *Loved. She said _loved_, not love. But surely she isn't over him already. I know she's hurt, but she was prepared to commit her life...but I made her feel safe. I made her feel something she never felt with...stop this right now, Rupert you dirty old man. She's not saying that at all, she's saying that she loves you like a father...*

"Giles? Are you alright?" Anya asked tentatively, and Giles realized he had been staring at her speechless for another overly long time.

"I`m sorry. I think...please, let's sit down." She joined him on the couch, frowning a bit in concern. "Do go on. Y-you were saying I made you feel, er, safe?"

"Ever since you hired me to work at the Magic Box, I felt like I really existed, as a mortal. As a woman. I had a place in the world. Not just as Xander`s girlfriend, but a real place of my own. You gave me that place, Giles. You. And so, if I'm going to give that place up now, I think I need to know how you feel about it, first."

"How I feel?" Giles echoed, lightheaded. Anya frowned at his still dazed expression.

"Unless you feel nothing at all, in which case this all becomes rather moot," she said with quiet resignation. 

"How I feel..." Giles repeated again. Without thinking he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side, shocked at himself after the fact. The gesture was unlike him, but had felt so incredibly right. And the feel of her nestled there was surprisingly right, too; she fit there so perfectly. Anya seemed to sense that, too; she leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed in contentment. Every feeling in him seemed to conflict with another, but he couldn't deny that he was happy she was there. "I definitely would not say I feel nothing," he said dryly. "Have you talked to the others, er, about this decision?" 

"No," she sighed. "They're really Xander's friends, you know. Not so much mine. They put up with me because of Xander. And I know you did, too, but I thought, maybe, there was just a little of you that actually cared. About me." Giles said nothing, but continued to hold her to him. They sat in silence for a while, then Anya spoke up in her most no-nonsense tone. "Here's the bottom line. I can't go back to Sunnydale. I mean, I can, but I won't. So I either take D'Hoffryn up on his offer, or...or what, Giles?" 

Giles looked down at Anya and for the first time in nearly a lifetime he knew without a doubt what he wanted. The words were out of his mouth before he could allow himself to think.

"Stay here. With me." Anya pulled away from his arm, her expression skeptical.

"As your what, exactly?" she asked apprehensively. This was what she had wanted; he could see the cautious hope in her eyes. But now that he had said the words and she had asked the question, he had no idea what to do next.

"Oh bother, Anya. I'm British. I have to be proper about this, and yet I've just broken the bounds of propriety, haven't I? And you have every right to ask about my intentions, but the simple fact is I don't know what they are. This is all most unexpected, and I believe it will take us both a while to sort things out." He reached out and tenderly stroked her cheek, his eyes darkening with something that made her heart race. "I only know that I can't let you go."

"Oh," was all she managed to say before he covered her lips with his own. It was a tentative kiss, light and affectionate but edged with a darker passion that was causing it to deepen when Giles realized what he was doing and released her. Both moved as far away from each other on the sofa as they could, immediately uncomfortable. Things were moving too fast, and emotions were too high. 

"You wanted my opinion. I would not like to see you go back to vengeance, Anya. And it's not just because I care about Xander and the others. It's because I care about you. I've been so...so proud of you, how far you`ve come, making such a difficult transition. I`ve thought about you often, since moving back here. I've...I've missed you."

"You have? Really? I know I made a big deal about you leaving me the shop. I didn't want to admit it to everyone, not even to..." she trailed off for a moment as that same sadness passed over her face, then squaring her shoulders, continued, "But it felt wrong without you, Giles. I've missed you so much!" She reached out her hands and he met them with his own, locking their fingers together. Again he was struck by how simply perfect her hands felt in his own.

"You'll stay, then," he said happily, and she nodded almost shyly.

"I want to stay. With you," she answered in a small voice. Part of him had the urge to kiss her again, but the proper British gentlemen in him won the day for now. Somewhere in his dazed brain it occurred to him that she might think he had some expectations - and in a panic he realized that she might have some expectations. This was, after all, a girl who had never been reluctant to express her wants and desires.

"This isn't...that is to say, I cannot promise you-" She pulled one hand away from his and touched his lips, stopping the words. There was an almost enigmatic smile on her lips, but her eyes were still filled with recent pain.

"Please don't. Don't promise. I'm very through with promises, thank you please."

"Yet I do have one that I must make, Anya. I promise you that I`ll be honest with you about how I feel, as I want you to be with me, not that I have any doubt of that. And when I`ve fallen in love with you, and you with me, then we`ll take the next step. We`ll just take this one moment at a time."

"If."

"If what?"

"You said `when'. You meant `if'."

"Actually, I'm fairly certain I meant `when'. Anya. Dear," Giles said, with a smile that made her start to blush.

"Oh," she said, instantly flashing on those moments they had thought themselves betrothed to each other. Much to her surprise, Anya found herself giggling. "Whatever you say, Rupie dear."

His chagrined wince only made her laugh harder. Almost immediately he began to laugh as well. Their collective giggles echoed through the flat. Unseen by either of them, D'Hoffryn sighed. He had found himself actually looking forward to having Anyanka back in his employ, but on another level he was pleased. The boy that had hurt her would be more wounded by this unexpected turn of events than he would have been by any of the torments she might have dreamed up. He looked forward to the sturm and drang to come, even as he hoped that the Watcher would prove a more suitable match. If not, he would be there.

As she wished.

*************

Feedback's always appreciated.


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